Chicago, Ill. - Blood-curdling screams can be heard emanating from families homes tonight as parents inform their children that they will have to actually walk from door to door to get their candy."It's just not fair!" screamed rotund Suzy Johnson. "It hurts when my thighs scrape together!"
We caught up with a child who just started trick-or-treating two blocks from his house.
"Why can't I just post trick or treat on peoples facebook wall and get candy from my parents?" inquired the winded and portly Jake Drey. "My mom should at least drive me from house to house."
A recent survey of elementary aged school children revealed that regular exercise has overtaken the boogie man as the thing they are most afraid of with portion control coming in a strong third place.
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