Wednesday, November 23, 2011

President Perry would not pardon turkey

Austin, Texas - Texas Governor and presidential hopeful Rick Perry made a statement today that under his administration he would not pardon a Thanksgiving turkey, a tradition among presidents dating back to George H.W. Bush in 1989.

"I'm from Texas" said Perry.  "We don't pardon, we execute. Heck we've executed mentally handicapped people in Texas. Why would I stop at a turkey? I'm not going to play the role of big government and interfere."

Animal rights groups did not react well to Perry's announcement.

"Its barbaric" said PETA spokeswoman Jessica Martin.  "Execute mentally handicapped people if you want but don't hurt innocent turkeys."

Perry's odd statement comes in the wake of dipping poll numbers and abysmal debate performances and may have been an attempt to separate himself from the rest of the GOP pack.

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